Inexplainable feelings?

Let us not call it angst, but in better terms, curiosity. How do I seamlessly extend my emotions, my words, to another being? It is an art only existing in the mental framework of the single human mind. So many things occur in this mind. Nostalgia, pain, sorrow,  . How can true feelings be shared. 

I’m sitting here trying to explain my thoughts. In text. It’s impossible.

I never regret anything.

But why, why is it that I have deep embarrassment for actions of the past?

Is this regret? 

Have I lost my moral principles?

Am I just human?

Why must I be human.

Why can’t I be a parakeet?

Or a frolicking rabbit?

Or an ant?

Am I an ant?

Am I just another one in the army of a million, serving a nobility?

What is the nobility?

Is there a cause that I must commit to?

The answers to the questions can only hurt. 

The McChicken we call America

Well, I'm in McDonalds, and I have to say I'm both impressed and disgusted. In order for this blog to be read and comprehended through my eyeview, it would be best if I explained my day and who I am.

I am a 16 year old male honor student, who had just finished taking his AP exam. That morning, on my way to the exam, I stopped by CVS to purchase a pack of mint gum (to help me perform better mentally, idfk, it's some statistic I read). After picking up the gum, I notice there is Arizona tea on sale, buy one get one. I fell for CVS's marketing tactic and bought one and snagged another for free. 

At the Exam
AP Human Geography, not too mind stressing of a subject, I did fine on the exam, finished the free response section (three 25 minute short essays) with 30 minutes of extra time, so I drew a dolly (or dally? I'm unsure how it's spelt..) on the free response insert- which is not graded. I also drew the tissue box infront of me and made it angry. Later, I also drew a detailed parakeet. My teacher gets it back in two days, hopefully it'll make him smile :). (afterwards I'd be glad to upload images to this blog). Anywho, after the exam, we're allowed to be dismissed earlier than other students (excused) so I decided to head towards the mall next to school to get my hair trimmed, so I'd look like a normal human being. After doing so (and respectively draining a can of arizona tea) I took a nice pleasant walk, hoping to get to the sprint store to chat with someone about phones, but I realized all who work at cellular stores USUALLY have absolutely no idea what a phone is. Since I couldn't go to the sprint store, I decided to head to Subway and grab a footlong. I check my wallet while walking to find that I only have $10 on me, and a few needs to be set aside for bus fares. I realize there's a McDonalds very close to Subway, I've heard about their "dollar menu", and I haven't been there for a while, so why not grab something?

It's impressive how McDonalds fame and advertising campaigns allow it to be so well known.

Usually, I ignore and forget ads, but to my utter surprise, I was extremely familiar with the burgers and such on the menu. The iconic "big mac", the "Angus" burgers, and what I ordered, the rediculously cheap "McChicken". The McChicken is something worth admiration. Such admiration, how it can single handedly ruin a country. The McChicken might as well be the symbol of America. America has a delicious taste, America has delicious freedoms, freedoms such as purchasing $1 burgers to single handedly clog your arteries. America has a too-good-to-be-true value, $1. America is cheap.

While enjoying the delectabillity of this McChicken sandwich:
I can't help but shed a tear at the paraphernalia of the restaurant. Oh the paraphernalia! It's marvelous aesthetics, the color scheme of creams and browns. It's wallpaper, patterns that make you feel like you're in a fancy coffee shop. It's tables, always clean! 

I can't help but shed a tear at the people of the restaurant. Oh the people! I see well dressed business workers out for lunch, a successful yet busy looking asian man flipping through papers and punching keys while munching on his considerably large fries-- he must really like his fries..

I can't help but sed a tear at the interplay of multimillion (or billion) dollar companies. Oh the interplay! The ~40in monitor across the room from me playing the news, the same monitor on my right across the room playing Nickelodion. One cannot help but notice the monitor simply on to ADVERTISE McDonalds own product! Long gone are the days of a simple ordering display in text or lit with simple led lights, the McCafe has it's own monitor! And to imagine how many monitors the McDonalds corporation owns, MULTIPLE for every restaurant, the hundreds of thousands of restaurant establishments! I may be going overboard with the statistics, as I am simply typing this up on my Sprint Palm Pixi, not caring to research at the moment.. Lets not stray off topic now.

Ah, yes, the shedding of tears. The paraphernalia, the theme of the room, this wealthy corporation, masking it's faults by claiming they advance the idea of staying "active" with a poster display of a family, running outdoors, smiling. And then another display: "directly improving the health and wellbeing of children" with a small thumbnail sized image of the McDonalds charity logo. I burst into laughter and tears.

Ah, the well dressed people, how they look so successful. It's a shame 4 out of the 5 in the group are morbidly obese men. It's a shame how much they ordered. One man might have had 5 McChickens stacked in a Pyramid shape! Oh how I pray for the wellbeing of the nation. It's a shame my prayers would  have no meaning as I have abandoned god. It's things like this that explain my reasoning for doing so.

And the coalation, almost, of corporations, throwing money around promoting products. Dora the Explorer displayed on a monitor, children, not yet in school, clapping silly and smiling while chewing on their chicken nuggets. A child sheds tears as he drops a nugget, and to waste it must go. I shed a tear for this child. I also shed a tear for the child who sits there, crying because his mother wouldn't get him soda, and instead got him a chocolate milk. Oh how we raise our children to become materialist scumbags of society. It's materialism that will ruin every drop of good may ever hope for in the future. It is materialism that has caused societies to crumple. Look at the romans.

I have to sincerely apologize for the discord in my writing (grammar, spelling, vocab, all of it); I don't have a very delightful tone, if you haven't noticed.

But, my fellow human being, (whom I must express my dear love for, as you have spent your time reading this novel of what a meaningless 16 year old punk brat has to write about), isn't the idea of this wealth sickening? The idea that a foundation in which there are 15 or so human beings operating, a foundation in which is being broomed every 20 minutes may, a foundation in which the materialist face of America is symbolized in a one dollar chicken sandwich? Isn't this idea of this wealth all being revved up by one dollar chicken sandwiches frightening?

My friend, it is a cruel world we live in.

What have we done?

Organization.

Lately, I've been noticing the schooldays speed off, and I don't wanna lose control of what success I have accumulated. Most of this success is revved by my supreme organization. I like to keep it clean. My organization is without extravagance, it is of simplicity. All I take with me to class? A duffle bag with 1) a pencil 2) a notebook for notes 3) a folder with worksheets (and of course pens and whatnot). At home, I have folders specifically for class, in which I keep old papers that I don't need anymore. The folder has everything within a range of three weeks. My textbooks are always at home, as my classes have class sets to use during class. Aside from what I haul to home and school, I have my calender. My calender is synchronized via my WebOS phone AND my Google Calender on my laptop. With this in mind, I know exactly what I should be doing, and whether or not I'm ahead or behind. And other than calendar, I have motivation. What motivates me; I'd like to keep private.

Well, bloggers, how do you organize yourselves?

Dreams

It's only 11:57 PM and I'm off to shower! Once I'm out, I'll hop into my bed and doze off into the dream world, and return to the real world, not remembering a thing. Tomorrows goin' to be a pain! Tri-Quarter Exam in Precalculus, I doubt it's going to be fun. I just realized I haven't completed my history homework. Guess I'm going to have to stay up a bit.

Enough with this stream of conscious; shall I confer to you what I've been theorizing all my life? All my life I've been intrigued with dreams and their intricateness. I have had the greatest lust for experience of being able to control a dream. I knew in the "dream world" I could not get hurt, because my body existing in the real world is laying safely in bed. Being of young age, just like any most other American children, I loved Dragon Ball Z, and other actiony televised programs. Knowing that I could not get physically hurt in a dream, I had came to the conclusion that I could do ANYTHING in a dream and nothing could stop me. This lead to more theorizing as I grew, I had developed the idea around age 10 that if I could not get hurt, I could do things I wouldn't dare do in real life, go on running riots, rob banks, commit crimes, save princess peach from bowser, etc. Now, after six years, I am still yet to be able to control a dream entirely, I would not realize that I was dreaming, my minds perception would be that "this is reality". BUT (I assume because my mind has developed, and I have attained a state of higher intellect) recently, I have begun to actually "control" my dreams and do what I want. The only problem is, when I do come to such realization, I begin to awake.

My theory, after several dreams to prove it, is:

One can control his/her own dream, but while one realizes s/he is dreaming and begins to control it, s/he is processing thoughts in the brain, and in doing so blood/oxygen travel to the brain.

As the brain is initiating in the process of thoughts, the brain is AWAKENING.

It is depressing to come to a conclusion that while "controlling" your dream, you awaken almost instantly afterwards.. In other words, you cannot "control" your dream for lengthy periods.

What do you think?

Spring break countdown, INITIATE! T-minus 10 Days

Can't wait for it. Spring break 2011! Although I'm probably going to end up doing nothing besides gaming, watching movies with my good friend Soak, and maybe going out with a significant female (if lucky), I NEEDD this relaxation time. At least the third quarter is over, and the fourth quarter is beginning, meaning this week will be subtle.. Unfortunately this is not true. With the realization that AP Exams are only a month away, I'm going to have to eliminate most of my free time and allocate it to studying. I should probably study during Spring Break for the AP exams. That'd be smart. Moving on now, remember how I faked sick on Friday last week? Well yeah, it has come back to haunt me (no duh), I have a few makeup things to do afterschool tomorrow, and a lot of catching up to do. Said catching up to do should be done right now. I was planning on writing more.. Whatever..

And if you guys haven't noticed yet, I like ending my blogs with a question to my followers pertaining to "what's up".

So, my fellow bloggermen, what are your plans for Spring Break 2011? If Spring Break 2011 has come and gone for you, how was it?

Girls = Problems

Too bad I didn't get to blog as much. Whatever.

So, fellow bloggers, I'm having girl problems, LOL.

Well first of all, I've been single all my life now, and I moved, meaning new school, so my past was basically erased. To my surprise girls have been flinging themselves towards me, and I have no idea what to do. I mean, I treat them nice, I don't stutter when I speak to them I'm not afraid or anything, it's just that there are too many girls that like me (EDIT: Wow I sound like an extreme douche..), and me being me, I treat everyone equally, I treat everyone nicely. I aim to please. Unfortunately, some are observing this wrongly, setting me in a predicament where I am labeled as a "player".

High schools a b****, and high school relationships almost never go past high school, which is why I'm slightly contempt on this subject, but I've been feeling lonely and empty lately.. I'm guessing this is normal for many teens (I'm trying not to sound angsty here).

So here are my options, there's this mildly cute girl that is very sweet and accepting of me, that goes to my school and likes me, which is cool, and there's also this girl that's reaally sweet and reaaally cute, but lives about 10 miles from me, I can hang out with her weekly at a mall that's placed conveniently in between where we live, but the girl that goes to my school, well, I can see her everyday.

Help me.

Why I plan to move out of America when I'm out of college.

... Too pissed to even write a response.